Here stands Volume II, the efforts from 09/04/2025 to 03/01/2025. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show.
Here stands Volume II, the efforts from 09/04/2025 to 03/01/2025. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show.
03/01/2025
Last Page
Slow down Jack
there's no hurry
The end will come even with worry
You have nothing to prove
except to yourself
put other people judgement up on a shelf
The future is bright
even through the fog
Follow what's true
what feels right to you
After all you've gone so far without a fall
Count your days like you count your blessings
and don't stop until you've numbered the stars
Burn Gold. Stay Gold
Be an Unwavering Beam of Light
02/28/2025
Uwharrie
Forested trails share with
the inside outside world man created
Children wander though life
following blazes of education to carrer to family and again
Sometimes they lose sight of the path
foredge some mushrooms and find salvation or destruction
Other times they chose to stray to piss out whats wrong
or to go off to see whats beyond
But at the end of the day
It's just a walk in the woods
02/27/2025
Late
Who do you bargain with
When you let yourself down
Do I ask forgiveness
from the heavens
myself
or something else entirely
I don't know
But maybe I'll forget
that's a sure fire weapon of the mind
There's no transgression
if nothing happened
02/26/2025
Mule
These days are long
I toil I toil
But soon the days will be short
I'll rest I'll rest
It's cyclical
fast slow fast slow
It's how its meant to be
It's the path of our ancestors
They worked hard then they rested
we work forty hours a week
then small rest
One day we will get more rest
I'll rest soon
02/25/2025
Worker Bee but Happy
I work all day to sleep all night
I wake up ready to fight fight fight
to solve the problems, change the tide
I know fortune is on my side
Drink a cup of water, maybe another
Give a little ring on the phone to your mother
Walk the block then turn around
Pick up a penny you found on the ground
Today's a good day. Tomorrow better
They mold to your hand like a glove made of leather
Never for granted I cease all I can
finish the day off with a cool fan
Cause every days a treat, even the bad ones
It's simple and it's free like hot cross buns
02/24/2025
Magic Carpet Ride
Come ride with me
on my magic carpet
we can see the city
from up above
and the sewers down
below
It runs on hopes and dreams so no CO2
But can't go longer than fifty miles
but inna a pinch it can take you anywhere you want to go
if you believe you want to
So come fly
02/23/2025
Revolving Luggage
Clasps to the brown leather briefcase
snap close
as the once boy travels from day to day
Every day he wakes to find
a different piece of luggage
he will carry thought the those sunshine hours
Sometime over the night his dreams
will swap in and out what's in the bag
and leaves every morning in silence
That's how it has been
and how it always will be
Always on the move
Always changing
02/22/2025
Counting Sheep
The Sun glares down
on the golden flock of sheep
being shepherded by a lone man
and his dog
The Sun is setting and long shadows
stem from the few remaining trees in the grazed land
The man sits down upon a rock
and the dog nestles his head by his feet
They both sigh
and begin to count the sheep
before the daylight runs out
P.S. Wrote this in ~3 minutes from 11:56 to 11:59
02/21/2025
I can't recall recalling
Forgetting memories not remembered
causes the same sensation
of a word hanging on the tip of your tongue
Paradoxically spiraling and derailing the train tracks of your mind
It's frightening then it's gone
and it's whispers are then
too forgotten
leaving a lingering unease but that too
is forgotten
02/20/2025
Distant Fires
Cold outsides
make warm insides
thanks to fires so far away
The ice won't melt
until energy is about
then all the water can flow away
These fire they boil water
that coils around a series of turbines
They travel by wire to your own electric fire
to keep the cold at bay
P.S. I had an old Heat Transfer professor who grew up in Siberia in the USSR. He told us many tales of the cold. He was funny, sexist but funny. He told of trying to tan by the windows not knowing that they were UV treated so no dice. Apparently a tan is quite the big deal out there in Siberia. He would also tell of the power plants that heated up water. The hot water would be piped to the whole city keeping it alive in the winter. There was only one power plant though. So if it went dim the town would freeze to death in a matter of hours. Scary.
02/19/2025
Snow Thoughts
It's fun to fall in the snow
and make angles out of water
The angles stay still but are beautiful
I like the antics of the snow
it is refreshing and childish
The cold bites gently
snow balls don't hurt
I like the snow
but only for awhile
It makes it hard to do normal life stuff
02/18/2025
I was clearly half asleep writing this
I work all day
I sleep all night
I eat too much
but my belly's still tight
I count my sheep
and they count me
off to the land beyond the sea
P.S. My belly may be tight but from being stuffed like a bird
02/17/2025
Who's got time for all this
Everyday I write these dang poems
They take maybe 15 odd minutes to write
longer if I try
Sometimes I think about writing them all day
others at 11:30 PM
I do it for myself
to make me happy
and to express
I share them in hopes that my stories are valuable
to others
to make them smile, chuckle, and maybe think
It also makes me feel less alone
02/16/2025
Holding up the line
Small steps sum to greatness in waiting
as long as you keep walking
you'll make it to the end
Along your journey don't forget
to stop and breathe
look back to see how far you've gone
and look ahead to see where
your future might find you
But move along bud
The worlds waiting
02/15/2025
What to do when you turn 31
The clay disk slots down
and comes to rest on a cold metal chute
PULL!
The pigeon is thwacked by a spring powered launcher
The sun rays catch its back until instant transmission strikes
SHATTER
In all directions. Never to be put together again
It's flight was short lived but purposeful
P.S. Shot a gun for the first time. It was a shotgun. I shot at fake birds. They are made of ceramics. They are called clay pigeons. They fly a set trajectory with some give or take. I placed the gun against my shoulder. I shot and hit my second and third shot. I hit 10 of the 50 birds. That's 20% and was tied with the only person in the group who had shot before. The gun didn't knock me as much as I thought it would. It was fun. It was like fireworks when the bird exploded. It was very satisfying.
02/14/2025
Sitting on the End of Space
The dirt compresses under the weight of my hands
as I lean back with my legs hung out over the end of the world
I kick my feet and some peebles fall South
and no matter how long you wait
you'll never hear them hit the bottom
It's a little unnerving to stare into the vast expanse
but it's the only place where the stars burn
an unobstructed bright
I have seen birds fly
maybe angels
out there
I wonder where they go
02/13/2025
Code Monkey
My eyes are curved but my screen is not
I wonder if they flatten as I rot in front of the lines of code
flying by to run simulations
Its for a good thing but maybe not for my stature and eyes
I digress
02/12/2025
Long Range Killer
I have been to the Holy Lands
I have been to the Far East
I have climbed mountains
I have crossed rivers
But I have never sowed a field
nor spilled mammalian blood
All the killing has been done far away,
unseen
But am I clean?
I think not
but it's odd
02/11/2025
Hope
Hope is invaluable
Hope is why we got here
Hope is what will lead us
Hope is intoxicating
Hope is dangerous
Hope is liberating
Hope is food
Hope is permanent
Hope is fleeting
Hope is beautiful
Hope is everywhere
Hope is faith
Hope is intangible
Hope is visible
Hope is blinding
Hope is light
Hope is all we have
Hope cannot be taken away
P.S. First one of these in a while eh?! I was talking with my professor today about some questions I had about my project. She was able to clear them up and show me a path. During our talk I asked how she was. She was stressed about the world. The world is crazy now. The NIH and other Research Funding are at stake. Because of one man's action, and 535's inaction. But I told her I was hopeful. I told her that I remember School House Rock and I know this is not the way this land operates. And she thanked me. Hope is everything and Hope is something they can never take away
02/10/2025
Reflection
These days I just happy to be alive
My friends sustain me
My family is healthy
I am strong
My future is bright
The chaos in the world around me
is frightening
but I persist and will persist
I am alive and I survive
02/09/2025
Forgiveness
To forgive is to trust
The equation is muddy
but is a function of time
There must be some knowledge,
some understanding of who each other are together
Malice and manipulation is subtracted
apology is added
compassion multiplied
tension divided
But that's just math
forgiveness is a feeling
it becomes true all at one
there are no half measures
Forgiveness is bilateral
Forgiveness is trust
02/08/2025
Used Canary
The canary survived the coal mine
but it never seemed the same again
Its yellow feathers, now soot'n
don't stand out against the dull gray skies
Children no longer point
nor do bird watchers stare
No other birds stop by to say hellos
to the canary's quaint nest amongst the concrete
It had served its purpose
and has been thrown away
into the background
But it is alive and that is everything
02/07/2025
Buried History
Fettered edges of the map sprawled out on the floor
tell of the time before landed property
Tress, rivers, lakes, mountains
all illustrated, all unnamed
A few trails dash the otherwise virgin landscape
But that's not true
People call that land their own
and they hunt, pray, cultivate, love, birth, and die
in these land
They have and has as the cement mixer sputters alive
"Fixed it!"
02/06/2025
Last Call
To everyone else in the bar
it was a night like any other
but to the few it marked the end of something
A man stands up with a short glass and begins a toast
"Around me I am surrounded by friends who I can call my brothers
and from each of you pours an unwavering beam of light.
And although this may be the last time we are all together physically,
I hope we can see each other's rays forever!"
He raises his glass. Says L'chaim
Then weeps
02/05/2025
Future Nostalgia
These days of future past
bring a shallow melancholy
to the tepid depths of my heart
A sense of future nostalgia
ware assault on my senses
even though there is nothing yet
to miss
This Tralfamadorian perspective
fuels equal parts hope and fear
as I know these golden days will end
connections ping more infrequently
but there has been immense growth
I am excited to see who I will be
and too of those who I call my brothers and friends
I just hope they write
02/04/2025
Written Reactions
These words reach eyes
I never get to see
I don't know how they react
How they feel
nothing
When I read these words to them
they say they're nice
and maybe they like some
but never any more
I never thought this arrangement was by design
separate
but at the end of the day
this is mine and for me anyway
02/03/2025
Straw Houses
There are times when things
must burn
even the natives conducted
prescribed fires
Organizations without organization
catch ember when the smallest sparks fly
Their inefficient heat dried out all the kindling
and in an instant
a great ball of fire
You could act to prevent the flames
damp the lands with silver oxide spawned clouds
but what good would that really do?
Some things must burn
02/02/2025
Rest
The rest is coming to an end
and the fight
naturally comes near
So I soak up the sun
below the setting sun
before I return to sleep
02/01/2025
KKC
One two bang the drumb
three four run out the door
breather deep long strides
survive the tide
Go quick there's not much time
prepare to feast
don't waste time
the race isn't won
It'll make you ill
and its not frankly a thrill
but we are all here
so you must go on
There are no foes
the enemy is the action
and in the fight
we are all united
01/31/2025
Weather
Something about the rapid change of weather always make me so tied
Its as if my body is so shocked at a seventy degree January it rather hibernate until things go back to normal
rain has the same effect and I slumber
Weather is unpredictable but my response often is
01/30/2025
House Plant
Even though the pot was fully rooted,
so much so the tendrils poke out of the drainage hole,
the pathos still grows towards the sun
forever higher and reaching like Adam
Cells stave and shrivel then are born again
rhythmically
due to man made droughts
One day it will break free of its cage and reenter the soil
with its brothers and grow
again
bigger than it will ever be alone
01/29/2025
Fuzzy Rats
Fuzzy rats all bundled up in wool sweaters and caps
swing on the snow covered playground
Their little whiskers now frozen
reflect brightly the street lamps above
and look like tiny white glowsticks
They play because its fun
and that's all the reason there needs to be
01/28/2025
Memories
I can't remember what I have forgotten
but I can remember
why I chose to forget
As the days go on
these memories too slip away
and I am left with a mind
filled with antique relics
of different times
Some weigh down my real estate and prevent redevelopment
other still shine beautifully like the old Parthenon
However I've never had an eye
for ancient architecture and can't tell whats ought to go
and what is historically significant to preserve
01/27/2025
Tin Solider
The tin solider puts down his rifle
that has sat upon his shoulder since birth
Paint chips and patina mark his uniform
so much so his rank has been washed away
only to be remembered by time and oily fingers
In the place of the unfired rifle
a shovel and white flag rest
Before him lies a fresh grave
and a sullen look in the painted eyes
as the weapon plummets below
The solider buries the weapon
never to be seen again
01/26/2025
Clouds
Poem
Divided Paths
Converge
Then Separate
P.S. New poem format?
01/25/2025
Monkey Tree
On the tip of the tree
the monkey swings with his eyes shut
to the next branch
His eyes are open before he jumps
but he has a habit of closing them
at first he did it for fun
but now its just a habit
Maybe it's faith
but the blind monkey never faulters
and those who have seen him fly
remark on his grace
The strange thing about it
is that the fellow sleeps
with his eyse open...
at least he sees the stars.
01/24/2025
Life with one hand over an eye
Sitting upon a jagged shore
a blue eyed boy looks out
to the horizon
The child knows the horizon obscures
the rest of the world
and also that he cannot see it
Seeing only part of the truth
makes him feel as though everything he perceives
and knows
has been shrouded by eyepatch
The rock around him are sharp
and make taking a step towards the limits of vision
near impossible
Only if some could tell him
whats on the other side
P.S. Went to the counseling center today
01/23/2025
Lighthouse
The lighthouse casts its beam on the empty sea
hoping to shed hope for a misguided ship
But they seldom come
but the light does not waver
because it can't
for if it does tragedy will unfold
The unbroken light reflects off the waves
creating a masterpiece seen by no one
it's a shame
But the light still shines
forever more
It has a job and never falters
The light goes on
01/22/2025
Marble Slab
There are times in life
where you get to have a clean slate
A blank slab or marble
stands tall waiting to be chiseled down
under the muse's guide
What visions the artists ponder,
a function of experience and hope,
to create what he hope to be his magnum opus
And if he fails he can start again
and maybe model with clay in a different place and time
To chisel the slab again
01/21/2025
Snow day
The sun goes down
and the snow starts to fall
and all the good people come out of the hall
to seize the night before it goes
Snow angels
Signs turned sled
no way in hell am I going to bed
I love the snow
01/20/2025
On World Affairs
A lot of things happen in the Big World
history happens out there
but I am not convinced it matters much
to me
Complimentary Colours
Black White
Red Yellow Brown
beautiful colours on a Navajo tapestry
but for some reason cause trouble
when worn beneath clothes
Me You
Us Them
We speak like our choices are only red or blue
Science Media
Culture Religion Money
cloud the mind and mar the Truth
One World
Two Systems
benefit no one, not me, not you
Hold Hands
feel the stories in my palm and me yours
Today like all days
I rose from my slumber as a human
and will rest as a human too
No time between morning and evening will I cease to be
Human
None of us will
and we are neighbors
let us seek peace together
01/19/2025
Mustard
Yellow mustard smacks the tongue
like a young Mike Tyson
as the jaw bites into a kosher dog
betwixt two buns
There is something about it that tickles the brain just so
and steals the culinary lime light
That's not all. Theat pungent paste kill cramps
faster than listerine
when put under the tongue
It's friend ketchup could never waltz around
with a counterpart like Dijon
without being called a cheap American gimmick
Mustard is a must for any self respecting chimpanzee
to add to their processed meat
01/18/2025
Ileostomy
There's nothing wrong with your insides
being on your outside
after all it's a good thing to
wear you heart on your sleeve
Our medical science does wonderful thing
some of which sound quite odd
but they keep us alive
If another gives trouble
about your condition
remind them that you are Alive
that you have Survived
where others have failed
Sure a scar or two or more lingers
but you are alive
and it is beautiful to be alive
01/17/2025
Medical Elation
Hospitals are amazing
I am happy
because we at at some summit
We do not know for sure
that that wretches cancer is gone
but we know we have slain its ugly head
Life will never be the same
but everyone is helping
and we are all routing for my mother
I Love my Mother
She is so strong
and beautiful too
01/16/2025
Good Riddance
Today was a good day
Not because the birds all sang in tune
nor that all pennies found were heads up
Today was a good day because medical science killed evil
I'd have liked to watch them throw that tumor
into a volcano never to be seen again
I'm not sure that would have been enough
There are no words to describe my anger towards disease
It is vile and we killed it
Today is a good day
01/15/2025
Short Winter Days Feel Longer
Long days and long nights
drain the part of the soul
that's excited to live and jump around
but tomorrow always comes around
to either beat you down further
or give you reprieve
It ebbs and flows like most things
Today has been long
tomorrow longer
but I'll get by
01/14/2025
Sleep Attack
The sleep is soaking into my skin
its black daggers dig into my back
as I try to catch some zzzs
I'm not sure if you'd call this poetry
When I was a boy I found a few sticks that I still remember and am fond of
There was a sturdy brown one which had a split end that I found at the beaver dam on the creek
Another was bone white that I found by the rocky shore, maybe in New York
The last which I certainly still have in the trunk of my car is a maybe four foot long piece of bamboo
It is simple and innocents to like sticks and I do
I had some rocks
I remember a small piece of quartz I thought was for good luck
I had some purple amethyst looking thing and a quartz geode
Leaves too, or clovers rather
pressed in a hardcover of the polar express
I still have some ginkgo leaves in my keepsakes
They're my favorite
I could never capture the wind but I do still have a toy harmonica and I used to play the trombone
I like snow globes too
My first words were "wow" when I saw a snow globe
I guess I've liked them since then
Pretty good first works I didn't know English at the time but wow upside down is mom which is nice
I love my mom
She's the strongest person I know
Caring too
I know I make her proud which makes me happy
I love my mom
She is sick which is evil
It makes me cry
I want her to live forever
I don't think I'd be half the man I am today without her
I know she reads these and will cry
I am crying too
I Love you Mom
to the Moon and back
I know you are fighting for me
and I am doing the best I can for you
I Love you so much
01/13/2025
Dreams
I don't dream
It's lame
If I did dream I'd hope it'd be about flying planes over boreal landscapes
Or walking through an overgrown garden outside of a temple made of glass
Or of love, never fleeting and cute things like holding hands
But I don't dream
and I don't have nightmares either
I just sleep
01/12/2025
On AI
Our brightest minds now toil
day in and day out on how to make machines
to do the jobs that give purpose
No longer is the goal to give back
time and quality of life
Rather we choose to automate
our arts, our stories, our designs
For who do we do this
What light glares at us at the end of the tunnel
Some comatose state of mind inundated with pointless media and recycled air
This work does not aim to make our lives better
It doesn't elevate the working class
It just lines the coffers of the few
whose fortunes could feed millions
01/11/2025
Haptics
Our science may be able to blow up mountains
but we still can't figure out how to make a machine feel
Our motors can spin thousands of time a minute
and hover with active magnetic bearings
but without knowing where everything is happening
Our hands can feel feel the ridges of a coin,
its temperature, its compliance, its shape
in an instant
all while we look, hear, taste, smell, and feel everything else
Humans feel
01/10/2025
Snow in Raleigh
It's snowing I'm drinking
I'm warm
I'm unicycling I'm drinking
I'm happy
I'm with friends I'm making
good decisions
Let's have another
and another too
Give me another shot
Let's have fun
I Love the snow
P.S. Can you tell I was flush in the face writing this??
01/09/2025
Blue Collar Appreciation
Although I don't work retail now
and don't spend every night
hucking diaper filled trash away anymore
that part of me that did will always walk with me
So I always smile and say hello to all
those who toil in blue collars
because they make the world happen
Because when I worked
and someone didn't even acknowledge my presence
when I bagged their bread while there were
5 open self checkouts and just one me
I'd always put their heavy soup on top
01/08/2025
Straw Man
The fragile man casts stones
from his glass house
not knowing his foundation is nothing more than paper manchette
He, who is lazy, will claim you are too
He, who does not work, will calin you don't either
He, who lies, will claim you lie too
But like cream
the truth rises to the top
and we all know what happens to the man in the glass house
It comes crumbling down
01/07/2025
Greed and Health
It's funny how we always want
what we can't have
even if it's no good for us
Something about eating a cake
and having it too
It's strange
Who ever did the wiring upstairs
liked together too many wire for the modern age
Sugar is everywhere
You can watch a man on a screen in your pocket
It's too much
I just want to be healthy
01/06/2025
Silent Snow
Snow rains a quiet serenity on the land
it sticks to the trees and carpets the ground
building a white world of sound deadening cotton balls
A soft crunch follows every step
along with a perfect mold of the bottom
of my rubber sole
Ice rain is miserable
so is sleet
almost every combination of wet and cold
except snow
Snow in the South is as beautiful as it is rare
It is always unexpected and we are always underprepared
01/05/02025
Talking to the Moon
Moonlight guides me
down to the old sycamore tree
It laughs. I laugh
at all that troubles me
The Moon speaks through the wind
"Hush my child"
and I smile at the stars relieved
What can I do for you
I say to the Moon
the Moon replies
"Drink more water, it helps with the tides"
I nod my head and drift off to dreamland
with the Moon watching my back
01/04/2025
Thought
I don't know why but I do know what happened
Fortuna
The pot of gold
at the end of life's rainbow is already at your feet
if you stop to look down
Down deep where your heart lies
serenity lies
Good friends and fortune
are one in the same
it's just a game of perspective
like a prism
catch the light right and
you can make your own rainbow road
01/03/2024
Thought
Does fear hold one back or push one forward?
Winter Stillness
Over the ice still lake
a branch reaches to the other shore
exhausting its leaf fur in its efforts
so much so that it has shed down to the last maple hair
leaving its bark bare to the wintry mix
Our last lonely leaf looks
to his left, then right
upon seeing no neighbors
he allows gravity to win the war
Down the slopes of air does our organic fan ski
almost as if dodging slaloms
But no worries the flyer make a graceful spruce goose landing
into the ice bath
only causing a small symmetrical wake where it made seafall
The wind now still creates
an absent harmony
with the quietness of the lake
almost as if Mother Nature pressed pause
to use the restroom or pop corn
Like most things, the moment fades
and the brown boat floods with water and sinks into the depths
never to be seen by mammalian eyes again
Leaves live beautiful lives
01/02/2024
Hot Air Balloon
Scorning warmth brushes my cheeks
as the ice laden air cuts my fingers and lungs
Above the mountains the hot air balloon stand still
on a rich blue background
looking down over the basket the goats look like gray dots
State Of Mind
My mind echos like an empty vase
and it reverberates down my spine
crosses the lung and shakes my heart
the hollowness ping around
ricocheting indifference
sucking the marrow out of my soul
It crept out of nowhere and I hope it scurries away
as quickly as it came
P.S. In my old house we used to have a large scarlett glossy pot with gold flakes. The gold was scarcely marbled into the red. The inside of the pot was all gold and when I was a boy I would stick my head in the mouth of the vase and feel its cool conductivity on my face
01/01/2024
Sand
Enjoy the highs of life
when you reach the peak
and see the rainbow
The pieces all snap together
with the briskness of the opening of a cold coke
But like all things, it fleets
That's why you have to hold on with all your might
The golden sand
falls between my fingers
12/31/2024
Perspective - Grateful
The end
is indisconcerable from the beginning
when life is viewed as a series of cycles
Widen the perspective and witness
how the loops of life march forward
intertwined like a knit scarf
with a clear beginning and an unwritten end
My scarf has been line with the Gold
of family, friendship, and good fortune
and when my stitching swayed
light pulled me out of darkness
I stand here now, eyes glazed at the expanse ahead
with hope
Ellie Wiesel taught me you can never take away a man's hope
and that alone can sustain any hardship
12/30/2024
All your cookies belong to me
Everything is in motion
and all the chips are headed my way
of course there are a few that slip by
but thats okay in the grand scheme of things
The future is one part present
two parts past
a cup of luck
and a clove of chance
Some ingredients come in the box
others you have to bring to the table
but together they determine
if your cookies is thin and crispy
or soft and plump
Either way you make cookies
and either way I am going to eat them all
12/29/2024
The Lost City
Up, up above the clouds
do towers climb spiting Babylon
with its construction of concrete and steel
The horizon now rizen
creates a distinct silhouette
something to remember and hold dear
Built up, not out
to save time and money
each story with stories
of tenets past and present
More, more multiply into the sky
make a sequoia city
for tailless apes
Nature commands all things must grow
P.S. When I was a kid and saw Charlotte's skyline I would ask if it was the Lost City from Dora. Simpler times
12/28/2024
Declaration of Self
I am alive, a son, a poet, and an engineer
my favorite colour is green
pink my favorite to wear
My favorite question to ask?
Spirit Animal
I like to ride bikes, climb rocks, and do
I love vegetables but I have a hard time getting behind
brussle sprouts
I am from the South
and I am a Jew
I am proud of both but much more the latter
I like to dance and sing
and I have really tried to perfect clapping
My eyes are blue
my stature modest
and I am missing a tooth
I enjoy my friends
and my time alone
but I rather not be alone
I hope to better the lives of those around me
I try
I love Pad Thai
I don't eat Chick-Fil-A
or pork or shellfish or gelatin or catfish or bugs
I can unicycle, yo-yo, and make paper cranes
I could talk about myself all day
but I'd probably get bored
I am me, always have been
always will be
I change a bit each day
but I'd still call myself the same ship
I've gotta adios myself now
Chao!
12/27/2024
Hanukkiah
The boy stared at the light
the flames flicked and cast inverted shadows
on the wall behind
It was the only light in the room
The candles stood proud despite their shrinking stature
as if they lived to die in this fight
with their commander stood above the rest
Fire is mesmerizing
no wonder the Greeks thought it was a gift from above
So we shine them bright
with chutzpah for eight nights
together and share this wonderful world
12/26/2024
In Memory of Dawn Doty(Wife, Mom, Grandma)
When he sat on the bench
he did not know what he would see
even though he had sat there a number of times before
The clouds a different mural
The fountain spews forever new
and the public play their lives
before his eyes
He thinks too of what he see
and has seen
and how he fits in and what has changed
Change is the constant inconstant
at least the bench doesn't walk away
P.S. I like riding my bike to Freedom Park and sitting on benches
12/25/2024
Light
Not by might do we find the light
for it is already there to be seen
Tradition
Tradition is a beating drum
resonating rhythmically
adding beats to your days and years
Chrismukkah
It does not happen often
but when the Christian and the Jew
share a day like today
the world become a bit brighter
P.S. I came across this poem by Charles Reznikoff. I hope to one day be able to write a poem as simple and beautiful as it.
12/24/2024
Giving Thanks
To be thankful is to understand
that another has put something
beyond themselves before themselves
In order to be thankful
there must be a belief
that others are free
And to believe that others have free will
leads us to the belief
that others are of the same kind
Another being being the same
breeds respect and rights
and the end of being alone
That is something to be thankful for
P.S. Got to enjoy one of my favorite Christmas traditions. A Swedish Christmas. I may not know the songs, or the stories, but I do know what history and tradition means to a people and am honored to be invited to indulge.
12/23/2024
Chasing the Sun
Sometimes people chase the Sun
to stay in the light
as long as they can
-Forever day
Other lie until the night
Most rise with the day
and settle with the night
Balance is best
with most things
Perspective comes with balance
along with wisdom and peace
Life can be a tightrope
and no one wants to be caught
with too many groceries in one hand
12/22/2024
Playground
Playground sets made of steel and rubber
bring happy memories
The hard plastic slides
eventually bruising ass after
one too many descents
Or the audio pipes that carried sound
from one end of the structure to the other
Climbing on top of tubes that teachers forbade
Swinging so high in the sky
that the clouds didn't seem so far away
Playgrounds are a great place to play
12/21/2024
On Luck
When you believe in luck
luck will come
whether in a game of cards
or traffic with cars
A positive posture
and a neglect of negative
can paint life
in the loveliest light
It's all a game of perspective
like a glass prism
shing the rainbows
latent in each passing moment
Wait for the sevens
and the pot of gold will already be waiting
for those lucky few
12/20/2024
The Letter
I am reminded of a letter
in which a bad thing happened
to a good man
This leaves the man with two options
to follow the trodden path of idleness
or to plant his feet firm down
in the eroding loam and do
what is right
Misfortune is a ceratiny of life
the reaction, a choice
Regret and fear may motivate
but as long as there is a try
a good thing has been done
and no one is condemned to act alone
This will be how humanity repairs the world
-together we will try
12/19/2024
Roundabout
I know this feeling
I've been down this road before
and every time I travel
it kicks my ass and posions my heart
Apathy only delays and diminishes my soul
as does the uncertainty snow on my mind
Oh it's nothing
Nothing's real unless you make it so
Why do I play these games with myself
Feelings are a fool's errand anyhow
12/18/2024
Wednesday
Wednesdays mark an arbitrary division in the week
being all nestled neatly in between the weekends
Has Saturday always been the Sabbath?
What if we are resting on the wrong 7th day
Maybe it should lie where Wednesday now sits on the calendar
Monday has Garfield
Tuesday, Ruby and Tacos
Everyone knows Wednesday is hump day
But what about poor Thursday?
Best I've heard is the frat
"Thirsty Thursday"
Thursday's a respectable day too
and I think it deserves better
At least it doesn't have the Sunday Blues
12/17/2024
Interview
In and out for a five hour bout
Just so you can get to know
all of me
You fly me in. Tell me to dress casual
Then strip me down to my core
Tour me around your parts
and show me all your fancy toys
then take me to a sushi lunch
Don't stress
We just want to see if your a good fit for us
And if we're a good fit for you...
And when it's all said and done
you send me home in a cab
and chirp "hope to see you again"
12/16/2024
Scenes from an American restaurant
The volcano made of mashed potato
is speaking gravy all over
the neat row houses of green beans
The little pea people plot
their escape on metallic saucers
without knowing where they are lead
The wall of carrots has just toppled
and the only high ground left
are on the islands of grilled chicken
It's a calorific tragedy devoid of hope
because if the gravy lava doesn't getcha
You get forked
12/15/2024
Rage
There are times when a great ball of energy
comes crashing down the mountain
Kicking and screaming
Knocking down trees indiscriminately
It does this because the energy must go somewhere
and will do so with the path of least resistance
Causing passersby to become victims of rage
Eventually the rock will come to rest
and will be repulsed by its destruction
12/14/2024
Cloudicles
Clouds always reside in the same sky
They don't simply wander off the horizon
No clouds are of essence that
reappear and disappear due to concentration
When a lot of cloud particles come together
our eyes attune to their fluffy or less dense
wispy whites
When they bunch closely together
they cry rain down from the sky
A squeeze
Hail. A tighter squeeze
These cloud particles, cloudicles
want to distribute evenly across the heavens
but the wretched wind controls them at will
The clouds just want peace
12/13/2024
Community
It is kind of amazing
to bring people together
and see what it forms
Who laughs Who is shy
All sorts of things
And they come to fruition together
A social song and dance
where strangers become friends
I value community and try my best
to bring it with me
like a polly pocket
12/12/2024
A-438
I have always believed that I have the most in common
with those who I am physically close
for we are alive and we are human
When I tapped on the body
I was hoping for a response. But got none
I have touched a dead hung man
I pray that he could feel my warmth
but I know he couldn't
I hope he touched many lives before
he left
I hope his parents are okay
I hope those who were with me are okay
I hope that it is all okay
I hope I did everything alright
I don't know how to feel
Somewhere between fear, sorrow, terror, shock, stress, anxiety
I will be okay
I wish we was okay
12/11/2024
Cold Feet
The feet always get cold first
which is odd because then...
how would you make way toward the fire
Crawl?
Goldfish Mind
Flipping through the pages
tells the story in silhouette
No detail complete
but together there's something
And that's all there's time for
just a series of snapshots to rely on
Eyes glazed over each sheet
Memory greedly takes more away
to some forgotten dessert
which grows in size every moment
making each oasis of truth further and further apart
The story lies ahead unwritten
and behind forgotten
so take in all that can be seen Now
before it slips away
P.S. I really dislike my housing supervisor
12/10/2024
I get my kicks from Champagne. Your alcohol doesn't thrill me at all
Who put all these bubbles in my white wine
They are flickering on my tongue
like a pulsar star
making me feel tingly warm inside
I drank it out of a flute
but it had no valves nor whistle
although
I think if I'd've hit it with a mallet
It'd make a harmonic high pitch scream
Now that I am filled with Carbon Dioxide
and a bit of toxic inside
I am floating around the room
like Snoopy at the Macy's
It's amazing how some sparkles can elevate your spirits
12/09/2024
Tralfamadorians
Time happens all at once
Beginning, Middle, and End
A collapsed wave form
Now is no longer
Anytime is Everytime
Can I change history?
Would I want to?
I do know I'd probably replay the highlights
like a binge watching potato
It would be awful hard to go on
with memories of future past
P.S. I watched Arrival with my Ginger Giant
12/08/2024
Puncture Prone
Soft gravel with skinny tires
is a recipe for disaster
if you soften your grip
but if you keep your head down
on the ground
and follow the path most trodden
You won't fall on your face
and be cut up in all sorts of ways
Everything will be alright
No tires will POP
even if every second you think
it might
12/07/2024
Triangle Pride Jazz Band Presents "Jazzy Holidays!"
Sight is the only sense with a switch
and it is the key to truly be
We can all hear the music
but you can see it too - with your eyes closed
Every kiss cinematic
once the curtains are closed
The orchestra swells
and colours ignite
painting a picture no eye could see
The black, a canvas
for my mind to wander
So take the time
every now and then
to shut your eyes
awake
and tell me what you see
P.S. Got to see my friend, who creates the world he wants to live in, play trumpet in a Jazz concert. It was amazing. All of my cycling friends were there. I hope I remember the performance forever. Also one of the saxophone players was very cute.
12/06/2024
End of Semester High
Oh how amazing it feels to be free
from stress
all of my life used to be a mess
not anymore. Everything is swell
I walk my walk, talk my talk
deep into the night
I have no fear
So I drink a beer
and maybe another
and another so
Oh how I love to live
I am drunk like a mink
I sure hope I don't shrink
What a time to be alive
P.S. Was drunk
12/05/2024
The Wind
Does the wind know where it goes
or where it has been?
Or does it just flow
Down from the mountain across the plains
wrestling the leaves on the trees
till they dance down from the breances and come to rest
like a ballerina touching down from a double twist
No the wind has no agency
nor memory of the past
its reckless like an indoor horse
pinballing across neighborhoods
But I don't mind.
I try to catch the wind
12/04/2024
Bragaw Parking Lot
It doesn't matter if it matters
Either way you feel the world around you
Inside every mind is a Universe
that can only be viewed by its owner
If someone steals a glance
the Universe becomes theirs
like a seperate user on an internet computer
Whether or not this life, or the next for that matter
was written down by some Unknown Creator
or just happened to be for the sake of Being
is arbitrary
to the fact that I think
I am breathing
I am living
and I Love to Live
So I do, even if it's all a Farce
Because I can control the Universe in my Mind
We all can
P.S. I always love my conversations with my old piano playing, ping pong paddling, life loving, friend. Every conversation becomes cerebral, just the way I like it. I like the kind of conversations we have. They are rare, and reveal a little more about who we are and what we see
12/03/2024
In a Day
A lot can happen in a day
You can cry. You can laugh
You learn
You never know what the day will entail
Miracles and mishaps all in one
Its okay to dream even if it's just for a minute
Each day
P.S. This one is disjointed and brief for I wrote it intermittently from 11:45 PM - 12:00 AM while watching The Internship with friends
12/02/2024
Under my Feet
I like to dance with my Shadow
It copies everything I do
Including writing this poem
under electric streetlight
I like making shapes and hand puppets
a show for one by one
Shadows are nice because even if you're alone
They remind you that you always have yourself
and yourself is alote
much more than a rocks got
I wonder if my shadow feels the same about me?
12/01/2024
Ode de Habanero
Habanero peppers make any dish interesting
They have the perfect balance of spice the flavor
They unfortunately gas the room
when you sautee them in a pan
at least for me
I cough I wheeze
I even sneeze
But in the end
I have a savory stir fry
11/30/2024
Yellow Eyes
For some reason yellow comes to mind
yellow eyes aged like wine
Black pupils Red Veins
No Iris
Just dull yellowish eyes
staring into the void
I don't know where they are looking
There is no reflection only gloss
I cannot even see my own eyes
Are they my own?
11/29/2024
Firefly Cries
Deep, Deeep down amongst the toads
that hop the water of your mind
a small firefly blinks ... -. -. -. ...
It cries because it is alive
and it is alone
Sound piercing my own ears
causing me to act
no matter what despair
I can't stand the firefly crying
so I do everything I can make it stop
I run, I ride, I laugh, I pray
But the cires never go away
11/28/2024
Equataion of Trust
Trust is an equaiton
of histroy and time
Every interaction
a notch on the ledger
On the grand stick
the cuts run deep
with memory
So much so that it no longer fits in my hand
It's jagged
One day my calluses may smooth it down
but that will come with time
and new history
Maybe people change
11/27/2024
Beyond Oz
Yellow brick roads exist outside of Oz
Inside every soul lies a dream
Some buried under a pile of leaves
Others risen to the top like creme
Reguardless the mind searches for meaning
and for every path eixists
a journey yet to be
No one has ever been down the road before-
every path the road less traveled
the dawn creates a new world every day
Fight off the monkeys
Take off the mask
The only smoke and mirror
lies within you preventing you
from being the best you
11/26/2024
Shakey Memory
When I look back I seldom recognize myself
My past romances seem like distance moons
obriting my mind... satellites
There are parts I miss
There are those I don't
I don't mind the seldomness
as much as I used to
I do misss the affection
but that's only natural
I don't remember how
I convinced someone to give
it to me though
Maybe I'll try again
Just to remember
11/25/2024
Jaunt at Night
Oh how I rage against the dimming light
I rest all day to conquer the night
The streets empty
The sky full of stars and dreams
There's no one to judge
I am free
to pee behind a tree
or run a muck
I don't have to give a
The night is the canvas
and I the brush
11/24/2024
Noodle Kugel
Egg noodles make great kugels
when mixed with cinnamon, sugar and the like
The hard top crust adds bite
to the sweet chevy delight
Dotted raisins add a burst of surprise
to the savory tastes of sunrise
and all bring a smile to my face
It tastes good today
and if there are leftovers
good tomorrow too
One of the finer dishes
made by a Jew
Just shoot me a call and I'll gladly make it for you
11/23/2024
One way trip
Snow topped hills
bring chilly thrills
through my rose coloured ski goggles
As I twist and curve
cutting ice like a nerve
a sly smile grows across my face
At the bottom lies
lines of lost autumn
and a pearly white snowman
I notice too late
and to much my frustrate
I collide with our frosty friend
My eyes now black with coal
and my torso covered in snow
I come to a complete and sudden stop
11/22/2024
Fluttering moments before rest
Tired eyes
Consume me
My cold bones still thawed
I law in bed
Cuddled tight
with blanket and candle light
One day I'll be warm
and awake
Not now
11/21/2024
Contrast Bath
Cold smiles Cold feet
Cold shoulder
Hot flash Hot Pocket
Hot Streak
It's all black and white
Neither side is too bad
I like the cool blue
I like the warm red
Nothing makes hot chocolate sweeter
than the cold
Nor a cold coke tastier
than a hot summer day
All you have to do is dress the part
and the climate will suit you
P.S. I remember a Jubala bike ride about a year ago when one of my friends was talking about doing something bad and then something good to their partner. Then my other friend said it was a contrast bath. That was funny. Much funnier then than me shoddly writing down the incident but whatever. I think I used to be much funnier, more loose. Now I feel all tied up, afraid of consequences. I guess that's "growing up" but is that the me I want to be?
11/20/2024
November Rain
I love the night sky
when it rains
the clouds absorb the moon and light catches
the falling mist
The asphalt, a slick noir
and oil drips cast rainbows on the ground
Streetlight like lighthouses
guide you through the dark
bringing you closer to the warm bed
that awaits you
It is a fantastic thing that it rains
11/19/2024
Sleep Deprivation
The lack of sleep weighs like a hangover
Wake with a headache, irritable
wanting to curl up and lie
Unlike a hangover
Kidneys and Livers don't scream
and your gait doesn't remember
wobbling too and fro
Take a nap
Cut the crap
Pick up your ol' knapsack
and tackle the day
It's not Sunday at Chick-Fil-A
wake up WAKE UP
11/18/2024
See of Eyes
Through the dark mist
the myriad of eyes stare directly at me
I look back at them
fixating on one pair
They are blue and tell stories familiar
I am indifferent to the eyes
Assuming they do not look at me
So I do not look at them
They are all strangers eyes to me
save a select few
who draw memories from my pasing gaze
I would see more if I let the eyes
match my own
I am more likely to smile
at a strangers eyes than one familiar
I don't want the eyes on me
but I long for a concentric connection
My eyes wander
The more my eyes dance
the less I am sure
My eyes look up and see nothing back
then a wink of a star
There is one set of eyes
I will never lose
and I still have my own
P.S. My 11th grade english teacher hated the word plethora or was it myriad
11/17/2024
West Virginia
Betwixt between coal mines and welfare lines
lies a river bisecting stone
Each hemisphere clad in sandstone
Allowing for hand sized holes to form
Now overgrown monkeys throw themselves up and down its hills
ritualistically for leisure
Taking in the works of nature
but leaving only a few tourist dollars
and nothing more
No worries the land will live on long after we're gone
11/16/2024
Sinus Headache
The ice pick in my left temple
is driving me mad
It steals my focus
and makes me cry
I know it is only temporary
but it feels as though it will last forever
beyond the day
I pray that sleep
will set me free
from this pain
11/15/2024
New River Gorge
On the highway in the tunnel
we both held our breath
Before the state line we raised our feet
to jump into West Virginia
The sky grew dim
our headlights bright
Winding down the gravel road
we find an unmarked home
Unearthed the lockbox and turned the key
The journey has begun
11/14/2024
Heat Death
Below zero there is no motion
It all stops
There is no negative where all things
go in reverse
Nothing
The world in a steady state of rest
Nothing to look forward to
No ability to look back
Scientists say this awaits the Universe
Something like that
Where it all stays still
It is terrifying
11/13/2024
Ode de 3D Printing
Out of nothing comes something
Through a heated nozzle it spews
liquid plastic onto a warm plate
creating a physical recreation of what the mind's eye can see
In an hour or two or five
you'll have a little bracket
or a peanut butter hatchet
or whatever you'd like it to be
As lost at it is less than 12" x 12"
You can make the world in whatever colour you want
11/12/2024
Cold
A little plague here and there
reminds you that you are a biological system
not some machine that exists outside of nature
As little segments of DNA and bacteria
float around your insides wreaking havoc
your body screams
Your joints harden
Your head swells
It feels like its all coming down
Until it stops
It is a miracle to be alive
11/11/2024
Crazy Talk
Who walks the line between
the sane and insane
gazes all sides of the human existence
Seeing what is there and what is imaginary
allows them to dream like no other
However one side of the balance beam hold great peril
and you'll never know if you've fallen in
So take precaution
before you
walk the line
11/10/2024
Seasonal Beverages
Warm lemonade is just as sweet as an iced on on a winters day
The warmth and the pulp dance around your mouth
setting your taste buds to disco
You can enjoy a seasonal treat anytime of year
There is nothing to fear
You are allowed to enjoy the finer things in life
11/09/2024
What to do at the end of the line
Some people think it is best to go out in a blaze of glory
To treat the end different from the beginning or middle
I am not so sure that's the way to go
To change yourself for a perceived end
Nothing is ever really over
till it all is
Keep being yourself no matter the occasion
and you will be remembered for who you are
not what you think other people want you to be
11/08/2024
As Far as the Eye can See
Stand on top of a mountain
or on the shore you can see for miles
In a city you can only see
for a few blocks
As man-made structures block your sight
But the view is still there
if you can unobstructed your eyes
with your imagination to see
the land for what it is and
where true beauty lies
At least no matter where you are
You can always look up at the heavens
and see its vastness
where distances are counted in time
where it all began
11/07/2024
Another 5 Minute Rush
It's getting late and I need to rest
so tomorrow I can be my best
Goodnight Moon
Goodnight Stars
You are all so far
but to me you burn bright
That's why I love the night
11/06/2024
What I see
A weight comes over my eyes
Heavy as a breakup
But I hold my eyes open
For I still must see
What lies before me, just a bit longer
What once was no longer is
and my pupils need to dilate
onto this newfound light
I know not what lies before me
although I have a clue
and I hope it does not come true
But I gaze nonetheless
for I can see my family and friends
and as long as they remain
in my periphery
All will be well
11/05/2024
Squirrel Chirps
I wonder what the squirrels chirp about in the morning
I wonder if they wish the night away
I wonder if they dream of flying
Amongst the clouds the shadow them below
Do they speak of leaves, trees, and honeybees
or of tariffs, imports, and social policies
I guess we will never know
uless little squirrel ears we grow
Their lives a mystery to us just as we are a mystery to them
I just hope they enjoy the sunrise like we do
11/04/2024
Memory
I can no longer remember how I got here
but I am here
I do not know why I believe what I do
but I do
I dig though my filing cabinet
and can find snippets of reality and reason
but never it all
There is some deep down truth
buried somewhere in there
I've heard it called the Soul
I guess I've got one of those
I reckon everyone does
11/03/2024
Limits of our Cranial Sorting Machine
The robot put things in boxes
It did this all day and all night
The robot does not know why
Mainly because it can't think
but also as it's programmer
didn't even bother to comment
some explanations for this machines
eternal damnation
People in boxes, ideas in boxes, objects in boxes
It doesn't matter what it is
just that it fits with like things
so it's easier to sort and find
Sometimes the arbitrary sorting is off but there is no changing
an assertion once made
We try but it takes time
P.S. I do not like the human desire to put everything in boxes. So black and white. It has led to great turmoil.
11/02/2024
Alarm Clock
Technology meant to save
frustrates when it lets you down
The gears allegedly in mesh
skip setting a domino of errors
culminating in an axle snapping
ending the life of the machine
It doesn't matter if you've skipped maintenance
Some things must fail
Not much separates man from its machines
for there is a part of man in everything it makes
P.S. My alarm did not go off today. Resulting in me missing my Canoeing trip I have long looked forward to
11/01/2024
Never Change
Never Change
That's what people say but never mean
They imagine you only as you are
and not what you can be
Frozen in Time
When time and place separate
new snapshots are shown
The continuum shattered by reality
People change, for better or worse
Toddlers to Child to Teen to Adult to Parent to Grandparent
and if you are lucky Great Grandparent
The walks of life come
even if you resist taking steps
10/31/2024
On Motivation and Productivity
Yesterday held a hundred smiles
for I was in constant trials
Much like a hydroelectric dam
the more the world sends my way
the more powerful I become
But more rivers run dry
and the lights grow dim
So I wait for a downpour
so my turbines can roar again
10/30/2024
Firefly Algorithm
The fireflies fan out over the dark swamp
searching for substance
They follow the smells and blink brighter
as they grow closer to their feast
The others seeing the growing light
change their heading to converge
on the sweat treat now uncovered
They do this every night
and they never grow hungry
The swarm sustains the swarm
10/29/2024
Summer
Hummingbirds
Summer breeze
Silver wings on honey bees
Fresh watermelon
Fireworks and fireflies
Jalapeno poppers and chilli fries
Deadly heat, flipflop tanned feet
Clear skies, wandering eyes
Ocean spray, a hint of Old Bay
Shades of coral and light blue
Hotdogs in stands
Big ass fans
Swimming pool
Sex on the beach
Jimmy Buffet with a seafood buffet
Bright green trees
Sunkissed knees
All for a quarter of the year
10/28/2024
Dancing Ducks
Microwave dreams
made of popsicle stick beams
collapse quickly and completely
When you half bake a cake
do you take it out of the oven and start to chew?
No
Take the time to get your ducks in line
before you go to the show
'cause no one want to watch
poorly choreographed duck dancing
least of all yourself
P.S. Low inspiration recently. Sometimes when someone smokes cigarettes outside my apartment I can smell it in my apartment. I can smell it now. This, respectfully, pisses me off. I have been wanting to use the phrase "Microwave Dreams" for a few days and do not think I did it justice and hope to use it again another day.
10/27/2024
Foosball
Men on sticks slotted in wood
kick the quarter sized ball around the arena
Four people stand controlling the rods
spinning them with haste and precision
Their eyes eternally focused darting around
chasing the pearlescent plastic
The ball ricochets between the tiny players
maneuvering with purpose
Soon the ball finds itself slammed against
the plastic chute
It falls down and a disk is slid across a tiny rail
It is an electric game that brings me much joy
P.S. My freshman year of college I used to play foosball with my friends in the Honors Quad. We played almost every day. I was able to play two people at once and win. I love foosball
10/26/2024
Birthday
A year ago I looked back and I looked forward
Now I look backwards and forwards
I see gold on every horizon
My personal trinity of past, present, and future
narrate a tale of good fortune
for I am the author
I have capture a life in which everything I dream of comes true
and I have never softened my grip on myself
I am me
I am true
There is nothing I cannot do
So get in line
To witness the greatest show of our time
10/25/2024
Selfish or Self Interest?
At this point I am no longer interested in waiting for things to go my way
Now I make my own favor
If I want, I do
If people fail me, I do
I may be a rock but I have sails
I can change course
despite the winds and tide
It's not that I don't care
if you are for me or against me
It's just that I am always with me
Get me?
Well I've gotta go now. Bye!
P.S. Had a great time today on the 5th floor of Hunt Library with my ginger giant. We were sitting outside on the balcony(?) and taking a meeting. I had accidentally shot my Nerf gun and it plummeted down the 5 floors onto the pavement. I was able to find the dart after it landed after looking around for awhile after the meeting. I like not having alot of class work. I get to do everything I want when I want. It's really fun. Oh I also had a great lunch with my player piano. I remember about 2 years ago I was in Turlington Den with my old boss and I played the song Shut Up by Madness and he was able to play along with the song in moments. It was one of the most impressive things I have ever witnessed.
10/24/2024
Living Art
Bonzai is one of the few living arts
every piece dynamic
no prune final
as new leaves always spring
A picture is a flash then a freeze
After the chisel is put to rest
the marble is sealed in time
only to be weathered away
Life is poetry in motion
We try our best to imitate
but we can never achieve true beauty
The best we can do is to reimagine
the nature about us-
That is if you don't believe it is already perfect
P.S. Went to the State Fair. My friend talked to some people from the NC Bonzai Association(?). The man said that Bonzai was the only type of art that never ends. I agree in technicality but I also disagree. I believe that art can have different meaning to different people over time. The art physically may not change but its expression does. The first time I heard Cat's Cradle has a much different meaning to me then than it does now. In that way art is always changing.
Later in the evening. After I wrote this poem I discussed the nature of art. I posited that art could be defined as human expression. My friend said that engineering was art. I mostly agree. But I think there is a difference between art and creation. I think it has to do with the intentionality of the creator and maybe even the perception of the viewer. Is a screw art because of the wonders of science carefully crafted to serve a purpose art? Or is it just a screw? I am not sure. I don't mind that I am not sure. I think any definition of art should be ambiguous as to not exclude art where it is true.
10/23/2024
Bench outside of EBIII before MAE 531
And he sat on the bench
outside of the classroom
in spite of time beckoning him
to automaton throughout the day
The sun spoke to him in 1000 languages
and translated them though the heat on his ear
spelling out the secret to serenity
Take a moment to rest
Take in the beauty of the world
It is always there
all you have to do is witness it
After awhile the sunkissed student rose
and strolled to lecture
with a piece of peace in his pocket
P.S. Today was a good day. Biked in the morning. Climbed in the afternoon. Ran at night. Found a new song today that I liked.
10/22/2024
Otter Poster
Amongst the seaweed and the stars
the sea otter floats on its back in the salt water
Its deep brown fur, saturated, blends into the darkness
of the night sky and the spray
Small rolling waves rock the friendly creature
like a mother cradling a child and singing lullaby
except crashing swells and seagulls play the melody
The constellations now spell
"Go to sleep"
and the otter's eyes flutter closed
drifting into slumber and surf
Holding onto his favorite sheep shaped rock
P.S. When I was in elementary school I made a poster on sea otters for a project. I remember it vividly. It has orange and blue construction paper and magazine cutouts of an otter(go figure). It also included a series of color pencil drawings of otters and what they ate. Little otters with little food on their bellies. Otters used to be my favorite animal. Now I have an affinity for flying squirrels but honestly upon reflection I think otters might be #1. I wonder if that poster still exists somewhere or if I have thrown it away in one of my moves. I hope not. I am both very sentimental but also very minimalistic. The otter in this story is holding a sheep shaped rock because I have a stuffed animal sheep. His name is sheepy. My cousin gave him to me when I was visiting my family in New York. I have had sheepy as long as I can remember. There was a time he was lost. That was when he was in dinosaur land. He got packed away with some dinosaur toys and I missed him dearly. But that was long ago. Sheepy has been one of the few constants in my life. And for that I love sheepy. I don't really care if it's childish to sleep with a stuffed animal. Me and sheepy have been everywhere. I took him to Japan and Israel. Ooh I found a picture of the poster. If I have a picture that probably means that I threw it away. But I still have a picture and a memory. Enjoy!
10/21/2024
All the dopamine with none of the serotonin
Inside the plexiglass cage
a meek lab rat pounces
on a pressure sensitive pad
The button drips a dose of dopamine
into the rats bloodstream
through fine translucent tubes
The rat continues to press down on the button
despite its levels reaching steady state
The rat can't get no satisfaction
but it tries... it tries
With increasing fury and frequency
the rat bounces yet not one drop of serotonin is produced
for the rat only practices running
and has no clue what to do once the race is won
P.S. I've got a test in rehabilitation robotics tomorrow
10/20/2024
Unicycling
The unicyclist constantly has to move
as every degree of freedom tires to make him fall
Two feet locked in a delicate dance
with his spine to steer and speed
the one wheeled machine
Despite the challenge the unicyclist floats
down the street like an alpine skier
singing to himself as he says left and right
everything feels alright
as mastery of a feat brings a childlike delight
He may fall
He may falter
but he always gets back on the saddle
to continue his journey going nowhere anytime
P.S. I miss the part of me that just does things to do them. I am going to sound pretentious for a little bit here. I learned how to ride a unicycle during the COVID-19 Pandemic. I got a unicycle for my 19th? birthday. I spent a few hours a day for a week guiding myself down the chain link fence outside of the YMCA. Everyday I would get a little bit better. Learning how to walk again without my feet touching the ground. I slowly found myself able to take a few steps. And then a few more. And then I could steer. And then I could ride. After that I taught myself a few skills like free mounting, pogo sticking, idling, and going backwards(I can't do this skill all the time).
I learned how to unicycle because I had just read some Camus. Camus talks about the desire of man to have purpose and the Universe's indifference. Camus calls this relationship between man's need for the Universe to care and the Universe's inability to do so the Absurd. I wanted to learn the unicycle because I wanted to embrace the absurd. I much like Camus and Sartre believe that there is no inherent purpose in this Universe. But I still think life is worth living and I like living it. For me unicycling was my way of sticking my middle finger out to convention and a way for me to express myself as myself to myself.
It has been a while since I have done something like that. I guess this whole not a blog is a way for me to grapple with the indifference of the Universe.
I think I've just been stressed a lot recently.
Stars exist because there is a gentle equilibrium between the oppressive force of gravity and the raging outward force of fusion.
Recently I have been feeling the gravity. Academics are hard. My classes are interesting but my mind isn't plastic as it once was. I feel like I am getting a bit dumber each day. There I go again being hard on myself for no reason.
I am my own worst enemy. I do very little to acknowledge any of the good I am. All I hear is criticize criticize criticize(Ask me about this sentence as it comes with a little story).
I am also worried that I will not get a job after I graduate.
I am also worried that I will not be able to make meaningful relationships after I graduate.
I also worry that I will never love again as my heart requires a 100 hp starter engine to spur out of protective indifference.
I think I am just scared. And I feel alone.
Woah. We sidetracked there. But yeah I miss the part of myself that would just do things to do them. I feel like I do a decent job at it but I wish my fears wouldn't get in the way as I know I am not being as grand as I could. I am proud that I learned how to unicycle and it still brings me joy.
10/19/2024
Atacama Desert Landfill
Waltzing through the desert of clothes
the boy picks up and puts on an oversized purple blazer
The cheap polyester, half burnt by the sun
soon causes irritation on the skin
but the boy doesn't care as he jumps
into a pile of clothes like autumn leaves
Towers of T-shirts, Jenga's of jeans, skyscrapers of socks
All discarded
All left to rot
as fields of oil and cotton are consumed
to fill the wasteland
Humanity knows no bounds
and its empire graces everywhere the Sun doth Shine
P.S. Today I learned that there is a desert in Chile that houses tons upon tons of unsold clothing. This filled me with Awe. Not in a positive way. The kind of way that they use to describe the Creator of the Universe in the Bible. A strong concoction of grandness and fear. On one hand I think it is astonishing that humanity is able to create so much of a commodity that we are able to throw it away. But then you remember that not everyone has a winter jacket, and many won't survive the winter. And then you remember that those resources could be used to create something with more value and meaning. And then you remember that some poor asian kid probably made that clothing for little dough. And then you remember the previously unmarred landscape now landfill for humanity's latest fad. And that just makes me sad.
My goal in life is to enable mobility for all. I want to do this through engineering. I want to design solutions that will allow everyone to live their life how they want to if they want to. In this I will create much waste. I have already created much waste. I am an American consumer. I have my plastic vices. I have worked in manufacturing. My roles aimed to increase efficiency and reduce waste but there was still waste.
I once asked a friend what the shortest definition of life was. He said To Create. I had come up with the answer To Live, but I liked his answer better. Not that it was a competition. I think humanity at its worst is guilty of creating without direction. I believe that much of what humanity creates is beautiful. We create families, friends, towns, cities, farms, factories, places to live. But sometimes we do these things without thought. How many marriages fail? How many friends are factors of convenience? How many cities fail to house its people. How much food is left to spoil? and How much crap do we make to just throw away?
A lot
But I dream of a future where we improve. And I know there are many who are more passionate about this than I. I believe that those people's torch of passion will guide humanity through this darkness and bring us to a brighter future. I will try to do my part to see the vision through.
10/18/2024
Luck
Sailing boats capture the wind
and bend its breeze to its will
much like a leprechaun shoring up his luck
at the end of a rainbow
Catch that universal ether that controls the odds
with your dream catcher and spend it stubbornly
For much like money, fortune can buy you everything
and if you're lucky,
happiness too
'cause luck can turn a stubbed toe into a shattered femur
or a $1,000,000 settlement
Never let luck pass you by
P.S. I do believe in luck. And I do think I am lucky. I think my greatest strength is channelling my opportunities into action. I think there is alot about this world that no poet, scientist, priest, or person will ever be able to explain away so I attribute it to chance. So roll those dice!
10/17/2024
Circular Motion
Wandering around the room
until my feet stain the hardwood with wear
For I am trapped
bound by law to remain in my confine
So I whittle my days
and sharpen my nights
wishing for the day I can enjoy the day
again
Oh it's just fine at least I have my mind
to keep the madness away
It sure would be nice
to share this device with another
but here I am stuck with no brother
I wander my room
pick up the broom
and sweep my time away
10/16/2024
Cranial Vault
Seldom does the hatch open
to the high risk lead lined part of my mind
Half due to fear
the other due to perceived indifference
But still the seal is broken
and out come the unfettered fat-free truth
straight from the source of the Nile
You don't have to agree
I am only me
in fact I wish you would
as long as when you do
you don't kill me because I'm a Jew
And I think we'll all be wiser because of it
10/15/2024
By the River
By the river all your worries are washed away with the current
The gentle splish splashing of the mud saturated drink
plays your eardrums like a lullaby
creating an irresistible peace
Leaves and logs travel carelessly
in their brownian dances downstream
eventually finding themselves caught on rock
waiting to swim again
Fish and frogs flood the underwater
living their lives constantly on the move
not knowing where they are going
but knowing they'll make it
dead or alive
I like rivers
10/14/2024
Legs
A table with 3 legs will always find balance
With 4 it may wobble
2 it will fall
So why do I walk with two legs?
Fated to always fall forward or back
into tomorrow or the past
Why can't I pitch my tent on today
with a third appendage
So that I can stop and smell the roses
and feel the sun on my back
Evolution requires that we march
Unknowing what lies ahead
It's only human nature
so it is what I must do
P.S. I am trying to find the song that has these lyrics. I cannot for the life of my find it. I'd like to be in the world you see from a different point of view there would be honey bees and silver trees and a place for me and you
10/13/2024
last minute
It's midnight I have a minute to write
Nothing is as beautiful as a turkish delight
shining in the moonlight
while I drink a warm Bud Light
Where do birds go to learn how to sing?
Probably Arkansas
Ahhh choo goes the sickly panda as it slides down the bamboo
onto the punji sticks below
60 Seconds Gone Now Bye
P.S. I don't even know what a Turkish Delight is. But we got it in just in time.
10/12/2024
Party Car Parade
The neon lights on the three wheeled car
pulse with the loudspeaker that illuminates the city street
As do the train of automobiles similarly clad in LED that follow
The disco bright the fights against the night
screams loudly that can have fun without the sun
You couldn't live like this with waxy candle light
P.S. Saw the play Clue. It was funny. Had a good fast.
10/11/2024
My Favorite Tree
Amongst the urban sky lies a grand ginkgo tree
I don't know how long it has been there
I reckon it's been awhile
as it stands tall against the towers behind its canopy
I can still remember the first time I saw it
It was fall and I was with my friends
I had learned about the genus but had never seen it
I came across one of its golden leaves on the ground
Everytime I see a ginko tree it makes me smile
Just like when a jet takes off
To me there is some kind of magic
and I hope it always stays that way
P.S. When I was a child, like kid kid. My parents had gotten a small willow tree and planted it in the back yard when I lived in Matthews, NC. They had trees for everyone in the family. When we moved house all the other trees were taken down but mine still remains. I wonder if the tree would remember me. I have grown so much since then and I am sure it has too. When I think of that tree it makes me happy. In the house I moved to after we had a large corkscrew willow. I remember standing below the canopy and letting its winding branches come across my face. I Love willow trees. I think all my favorite memories happened in the Sun. It always adds a warmness that lasts forever in my mind. I Love the Sun. I often feel alone. But I just need to remember that I have the whole world to keep me company. The Sun, the Moon, the Stars. The wind, the clouds, the rain. The birds, the bees, the flowers and trees. They all are there for me. Waiting. I just need to take the time to visit.
10/10/2024
Jenga
It all came crashing down
until it stopped
suspended in air by some invisible hand
Tormented pires of steel now falling in reverse
upwards against the dying light
The tower now pieced together again
is taller than before
more resilient to failure
and ready for whatever the world brings its way
If you believe in yourself
your reality and your dreams will collide
like the embrace of an old friend
Warm and True
P.S. I really don't like driving. It's such a drag. Funny note for the day. This morning as I walked into my Rehabilitation Robotics class a minute late in my brown leather jacket, the professor was telling puns. Like clockwork the professor asked Why did the bicycle fall over? and as I walked across the back of the class I said it was too tired and sat down. Thought it was kinda funny and hollywood-esk. Hasta la visTA
10/09/2024
Just a song about fishing
The boy casts his reel into the pond
from his makeshift wooden raft
Above, the clear skies smile upon the water
reflecting tranquilities on the boys blue eyes
and warming his tanned arms
A soft breeze bends the trees
and carries canadian geese
across the orange horison
For a moment the world is perfect
The boy takes a slow breathe in
just as the styrofoam bobber sinks into the below.
10/08/2024
Mental Mice
The rats that live inside my brain have chewed through the wires again
They didn't put them back correctly last time and I doubt they will this time either
One's mind cannot fix itself alone
But still the rats try
they match the graw marks on the electrical cords and solder them together
until the lights start flashing
The engine is alive but it's hum has turned to a pitter patter and burns through gas and oil like hell
P.S. I think I am pretty sad these days. I feel as though my normal state of mind is sorrow with fleeting moments of contentment and fewer blips of happiness.
My circle of life is going downward and the systems that I've set up to spiral me upward are no longer catching. (See 04/09/2024, A Reflection on Alternating Current Synchronous Permanent Magnetic Motors).
P.P.S. Wore a running jersey on my late night run tonight. It was super comfortable and I enjoy its rich green colour and the little embroidered rabbit.
10/07/2024
Beyond the Saltpeter Street
Lines on a page
inked by some overgrown macrophage
Trying to turn blank nothingness
into black somethingness
How it does it, it doesn't care
It's just important that it does
lest the paper's perfect patina
remain just that
Never more, Never less
forever white like a stale permafrost
waiting for enough coal to be burned to set it free
So it sets it free
and it's waters flow
and the ink flows
forever
P.S. I wonder to myself why am I so tired. Then I remember that I have been doing something since 9AM and it's 10PM. If this "poem" didn't make much sense, that's on me as I am past the point of tired where I know North from South and such. Au Revoir!
10/06/2024
Cannibal Crow
The crow summoned from its roost by hunger
scours the land for free lunch
Amongst the water something catches its blue eye
A small black create lies prone
The crow stick its beak into the beast
Picking apart every imperfection of flesh and digesting them
A drop of rain splashed down
on the previous mirror like pond
The crow spans tis wings wide in horror
realizing it had be feasting upon its own belly
Its innards now outwards spill out into the waters
and the crow lies
P.S. Went to the clothing swap, it was fun. Got a shirt, a pant, and a running jersey(can't wait to masquerade around as a runner). Otherwise normal day. Did some grading. Did some homework. Spend the evening with a friend.
10/05/2024
Musing Music Box
The ballerina in the music box
is missing its porcelain plie
But it still dances
to the plinky opus
Slowly at first as the crank arm swings into motion
then at a steady click
The notes vibrate little fingers
to play a forgotten melody slightly out of tune
Still the ballerina dances
and will dance a little longer after the motor stops
Again will the blue eyed ballira dance
when the next driver comes around
P.S. Who would want to eat a chicken "finger?" Chickens don't even have fingers. Wrote this poem instead of programming the BFGS optimization method. Had a good day in the Sun. Then had an intoxicating nap(not that I was intoxicated but the nap was stellar). Now I work.
10/04/2024
Corduroy Pants on Cold Brick
So the boy sat on the cold brick bridge
that hats the quiet swirling waters below
Looking up he sees the stars
and wonders what kind of Man he might be
Stoic? Cowardly? Passionate? A jester who doesn't laugh?
Time will tell
For now all there is to do
is to number the cosmos
and look within to find who he is today
P.S. Feel like the quality of my poetry has plummeted but maybe it's just in my head. Great news today! That evil(there's no word I know that conveys my hatred for this disease) cancer plaguing my Mother is "near resolution," and hasn't spread to the chest or abdominal region. Pretty sure that's all doctor speak for cancer is almost dead so I am happy. I want my mother to be complete again. In Hebrew to ask someone "how are you?" you say "how complete are you," which I have always Loved.
10/03/2024
Ode to Balcony
The crickets hum their cheerful tune
while I stare up at the sky looking for the moon
The air is light
the stars a faintish bright
and for a moment
I can feel the warm embrace of the Earth around me
Oh how I Love this sick and twisted place
where man kills man in some kind of human race
But it ain't so bad
and for that I am glad
I hope everyone can have their day
P.S. It's amazing having a balcony. I don't enjoy it as much as I oughta :)
10/02/2024
Electric Moonlight
Under electric moonlight
I stood unmoved
It's iridescence poured unforgivingly
upon my soul
reflecting everything but what I absorb
Showing the world everything I'm not
but nothing I am
I move into the darkness of the night and am enveloped by noir
Now no one can see me
That's no good either
If only I could bioluminate myself
so I wouldn't be so alone on these abyssal waters
Always searching for a light to follow but finding only myself
P.S. I'm a little silly in the head writing this. A sinful way to spend Rosh Hashanah. At least it will give me something to atone for on Yom Kippur.
10/01/2024
blue eyed rabbit
The rabbit runs all day
from patch to patch
task to task
Gaining nourishment with each hop and stop
The rabbit does not know why it races
It just feels like if it won't
it will die
So there it goes adding more till its destination
Home
At Home the rabbit is lost
There is nothing left to do
and no one to spend those last fleeting moments of the day with
So the rabbit is sad
Tomorrow the rabbit will do it all again
Never learning. Only doing.
P.S. Synopsis of day. Espresso Express Bike Ride. BME 556. University Housing Meeting. Office Hours. Homework with Colleague. Advising Junior in ME. Call Mom. Stop by Gym to say hello to friends. Stop by old boss's office to say hello. To Office to print. Try to find document. Back to Apartment. Homework. Trivia. Shower. Write Poem. Busy from 7AM till 9:30PM. Breathe. Do it all again tomorrow. Breathe. I'll never learn.
09/30/2024
The end of the Journey
After a journey all you want to do is rest
But the world moved forward too
and you have much to do
So get your ducks in a row
and rest for an eve
before you kickstart your life again
From one journey to the next
It's okay to rest
So you can be your best
For life's next test
P.S. Sorry this ones a bit short and lazy on the writing. I'm sleeeepy
09/29/2024
On the State of American Politics
I look at the world around me and am filled with bliss
for what we have accomplished
Culminations of millenia of looking beyond
the whites of others eyes
allowing us to create a more perfect union
No it is not perfect and
No not everyone gets their fair share
But everyone gets a roll of the dice
And this is why I think
that there is no greater vice
Than wishing for the downfall
of the shining city upon a hill
P.S. There's a world of similarities and only a few that set us apart. Beat your swords into plowshares and your spears into pruning hooks. There is no reason to slay your brothers. They're all we've got
09/28/2024
Harvard Yard(Said like a Bostonian)
They walk around in their ironed shirts
and pressed pants
like they think they're cooler than me
Their crimson jackets embroidered in latin
wreak more of inbreeding than pedigree
No they don't drink a Cup of Joe
only exotic espresso
'cause they don't really know what work means
But I digress, I just jest
While I stood in their liar I looked at them
eye to eye
because although I don't bleed crimson
we all bleed red
P.S. Went to a Renaissance fair then Harvard then came in a three way tie in Catan. Good day. Turkey Legs aren't as cut out as they're made to be but maybe I have a small mouth??
09/27/2024
The First Monument to America's Favorite Pastime
You stand alone in the colosseum crafted for your combat
Your foes dot the arena numbering nine
But you've got a club and them only one ball
Crack! In an instant a pearl of white leather stitched in red
flew 100 miles per hour right at your soul
But you didn't flinch
No you swung your wooden weapon
and hit that thing
And there it soared over the dirt and the ornate grass
and
Bang!
It attacks the towering Green Monster
Surrounded by your enemy further afield
you can see your friend next at bat
P.S. Tampa Bay 2 Red Sox 1
P.P.S. Walked 12.5 miles around Boston. Went on the USS Constitution, Climbed up the Bunker Hill Monument, Paroused the Boston Market, Gawked at MIT, Walked along the Charles River like a French Man I am fond of once did, and stopped at every park along the way. Took a nap then went to Fenway
P.P.P.S. Had a Sam Adams at the game. It was good.
09/26/2024
Old Man & The Sea
Throw yourself into the watery abyss
Deep beyond the sights of man
and wrestle the sea
Not for minutes, not for hours
Days, until you have won
And fight not for others but rather
to prove yourself to yourself
When you are done whittling yourself down
past the sinew
and claimed triumph
Tell no one for your vanquish shall already be known
through your character
Everyday rise and fight again
for the past is gone and you are now
P.S. Made it to Boston. Took the T on the blue to the orange line then took the bus to my friend's abode. Took a nap then got dinner at a Nepalese place. Then we played my first ever inperson game of magic the gathering. It was good as was the food. Started reading and finished Old Man and The Sea today. It was great. The man next to me on the plane said he remembered the book being thick but he must have misremembered cause it was only like 120 pages. FYI remember to remove your pocket knives from your backpacks before you go through TSA. There's another $50 dollars down the drain much like the ~$160 on Red Sox Tickets that haven't sold yet... Tomorrow should be an adventure packed day though.
09/25/2024
Anti-Ode a la Vending Machine
One of the worst innovations of our time
is the advancement in Vending Machine Technology
Gone are the hopes of a spare quarter lying in wait in the return
And of the God given Miracle of a Double Dispense
No, now even the gamble of shaking the mechanical monster
feels dry
as cameras and robust designs prevent plunder
along with shields stopping the niblist hopeful hands
I look back to my Youth.
Fondly remembering what Vending Machines
used to be
At least now days I always get what I order
and my quarters aren't eaten by the void
09/24/2024
Rainy Days Prevent x-Rays
Rainy days are like sticks through bicycle spokes
They hitcha hard & make you stop
That is if you have to walk
It always makes me tired
Which further sullies my plans
that have been exchanged for rainchecks
I long for clear skies and yet
I always take them for granted
And I will again
until it rains once more
09/23/2024
This is mostly Gibberish
Everyday a four leaf clover passes you by
If you stop to wonder and reachout
to the pale blue sky
Mother Nature will share its favor and teach you
how to fly
Every season in balance
for every day a night
Don't try so hard to fight
what's inside your DNA
It's perfectly normal to
take a breath
and decide that it's time to play
That way when you wander you will find
a little luck and a little hope
and your spirits will be high
P.S.
Why does my Mother have to Cry
Note: Mom if you read this it will probably make you cry just an FYI
When I first found out that my Mother had cancer almost a year ago I remember going to Lake Raleigh. I walked down to the little dock and looked up at the stars. I pointed both of my middle fingers up to the sky and cursed the indifference of the Universe and its Maker.
My Mother is a beautiful and nice person. And this is not the general definition of beauty or nicety you may be familiar with, this is my private definition. To be beautiful one must feel with all their senses and to be nice one must treat everyone with the same amount of respect you treat yourself, always. My Mother has dedicated her life to caring for others. My Mother is a Physical Therapist and has been long before I was born. My Mother is still a working Physical Therapist because despite her helping thousands of people the Hospital still needs her to work or she will be laid off. My Mother goes to work and has to care for people everyday when she herself needs to be cared for.
My Mother works hard to be a better person each day and she succeeds. My Mother liberated herself from an abusive marriage not for herself but for her children. My Mother went through Hell to give myself and my sister a stable Childhood. My Sister returned the favor by Hating my Mother and abandoning her. My Sister has not called my Mother despite my Mother having Cancer.
When things started looking good for my Mother and she had become recently engaged to my Future Step Father, she was diagnosed with Cancer.
My Mother fought so hard for her children and herself and just when the light at the end of the tunnel glowed a bright amber hue the Universe inflicted my Mother with Cancer.
I Hate Cancer.
I call my Mother as much as I can. I visit my Mother as much as I can. I would drop out of school and dedicate myself to taking care of my Mother, but my Mother instead wants me to live my Dreams.
My Mother says sorry if she is adding stress to my life because she has Cancer. That is the kind of person my Mother is. Despite Cancer eating away at her soul she apologies for the inconvenience.
My Mother is the strongest person I know. She cries often. I have always been the shoulder for my Mother to cry on. And as I write these words I am crying. And I don't even know her pain.
I Love my Mother more than anything else in this World and the Next.
I wish I knew why bad things happen to good people.
It makes me so sad. I Love my Mother so much. I want everything to be okay.
I would take the Cancer from her if I could. But she wouldn't want me to anyhow.
The only thing I can do is pray. I am so sad. I Love my Mother so much.
P.P.S. I now know why I always say sorry
09/22/2024
What does the right brain say to the left brain?
I can never remember
where I go when my eyes are wide shut
in the middle of the night
My mind must meander
but to where I cannot measure
Maybe to the pasts or maybe some false future
that through strange twists of fate become deja vu true
Sometimes I think it's the time when my two cranial hemispheres
talk to each other without me knowing
Plotting both for and against me
09/21/2024
Waiting on the World
Waiting for the world to come to you will do you no good
I'll stay clicking my pen till the ink runs dry
or till my hair turns gray and I need hair dye
Instead grab the horn of the unicorn
and stear the stallion into your future
Even if you don't know how
Take the first small step
the worst thing that could happen
is you fall with one foot still planted behind you
09/20/2024
Optimism
When a gust of wind
topples your house of cards
You don't have to commit to playing a same of 52 card pick up
You can always start from where the structure still stands
and if nothing remains
you've now have more experience and can build something better
Anyways there are different games to play
Go fish. Just always play a game.
It's not over till you stop
P.S. this prosthetic sleeve project has gone sour
09/19/2024
I need to stop writing love letters to no one
Tell me your past and I'll tell you mine
and you will see why I waited so long
for ours to intertwine
Your colours of red seamlessly mix
with mine of blue to create
an unseen new hue
Wander my halls,
find yourself amongst my once was
and could have beens
Tear them down.
Unshackle me from the old chains that bind me
Tend to the wounds around my wrists from my wrestling
for freedom
And I will unbind the blind that shrouds your eyes
from the hurt that follows you
We can lock eyes
and know that despite what was
we are not broken
and are both whole alone
Now notice the twinkle in my eye
while you are imagining the whats
we could be
I Love myself too, but that does not mean we cannot be two
P.S. Told some friends of my past and they were astounded by the actions of some of the people in my life. Their actions I still do not understand to this day.
P.P.S.
Bike Library Draft 2
When people talk about freedom they mean many things. The freedom of choice. The freedom from choice. The freedom to drink and the freedom to drink and drive. But today I’d like to talk about the freedom to move.
What does it mean to move? Is there something more than getting from point A to point B? I think so. There's also how you get there.
Most of us plug the brass into the ignition then hit the gas and go. But then what? You take the predetermined roads following your GPS or your heart. There’s some freedom in that for sure. But what if you want to go where there are no roads. And what if you don’t have a car or are able to drive. Well then you take the bus and then walk. Well what if you can’t walk. Then what? Most people’s first step of the day is a literal step but not everyone. Some are stuck in bed or have no limbs to carry them throughout the day. Then what?
Then I guess your SOL. You’ve still got your imagination and some TV screen but we all know no camera can capture the scenery from the summit.
So for those of you who can move please move. Take each step as if it could be your last. Go on that walk or that bike ride. Fight against the biological clock that eats your bones and sinew. And while you're at it, enjoy it too. Don’t take travel for granted. Allow yourself to get lost. Be free. Be you. All it takes is the first step
This one seems a bit preachy but I like it better than the last
09/18/2024
Future Television Programming
There we all were
all eight billion of us
eyes glued to the TV screen
The world had changed forever
Growing a new twin through mitosis
Mankind planted its flag into that red rock
we so long sought after
Next to me a men picked his nose
sneezed loud enough to get people's attention
Then look down at his glass light box that beeps and buzzes
Most everyone else followed suit
Walking away as humanity
took its first interplanetary steps
09/17/2024
Do you want my resume or my CV
Put your whole life on a piece of paper
and send it to be judged
A summation of your character and experience
to evaluate your future net worth
Don't worry a human won't read it
and you'll barely write it
It will be a cold war of escalating
word makes and word readers
Now spin the wheel and wait a while
to see if you've struck big
or find out six months later
that someone else made the bid
Seems hopeless. Is hopeless.
Better hope you know the Pope
P.S.
09/16/2024
Old Motto
When the world stops
feeling like ice and steel
you know it's about time
to take things real
One hand on the wheel
One mind on the road
I am going to live
long after I grow old
The time to act is now
and the bottle just stopped on me
I'll be sure to write ya
when I'm on the TV
In a world of winners I'm just okay
But remember everything goes my way
P.S.
Bike Library Draft
They say the first step is to take the first step. And sometimes that can be a literal step.
One of my first memories I can remember is when I first learned to ride a bike on Holly Ridge Drive. I remember the brightness of the sky and looking at the sidewalk pass me by. I don't remember much else. I bring this up because it is a nice memory and I imagine many of you dear readers also remember first riding your bike. And it is a wonderful thing to look back upon. But instead let's look forward.
Dreamers imagine an idealistic world where everyone funnels into state-of-the-art mass transit systems and carries their fresh French baguettes in their bike basket from the bakery that's only a block away. I too dream of such a future. But that's not the world we live in. Our homes are miles away from where we work, our families are spread across the nation or the globe. We are no longer village people. So what can we do?
The only thing we can do is do.
This is some dog shit. Thesis was how mobility ties into freedom or to appreciate movement because it is finite.
Will get back to writing this another day
09/15/2024
Magic 8-Ball
I ask the ball some questions
with answers that don't exist
Thinking that a die dunked in dye
will be able to show me the way
The salinity of my sea
is so high I cannot sink in its waters
but it has killed off any life
willing to help me make it through the day
Another day. Another dollar
Why does everything get under my collar
All I want is to sit under a tree
and sway
I'm the joker. I'm the king
I'm a little bit of everything
every role I play
adds colour to my shades of gray
09/14/2024
Love Song to No One
Everything that I have done
and every word that I have sung
Have all been done before
I don't know what I did
I am just a little kid
But there is one thing I know is true
In this world are a thousand souls
Standing tall like telephone poles
and I'm the only one that's next to you
So will you please give me a chance
and I will show you how bad I dance
I won't matter as long as we are two
If not that is fine
It was chance that we intertwined
All I did was sit next to you
P.S. This is a song to no one in particular. Just couldn't think of anything to write about. Enjoy my terrible singing below
09/13/2024
Sand Castles
Kingdoms made of sand
are susceptible to rain
But they still stand
being constantly made anew by its people
putting thumbprints on walls,
knowing they will wash away
A labor of Love or insanity?
What's the difference anyways,
regardless they Survive
And when the time comes
and the fires roar
silica will solidify
enshrining a prismatic monolith
to shine all the colours of life-
Each soul shedding an unwavering beam of light
P.S. Successfully coded a Golden Section optimization methodology in MATLAB. Seems trivial but it's a win for me. Also this prosthetic project seems very promising. Feasible, Viable, and Desirable.
09/12/2024
Office Life
Somedays you just want
to sit on the couch
and eat a bag of Rolos
They're like a C tier candy
but they go well
with thoughts of arson
and money laundering
I heard someone say
that everyday they wake up
it's worse than the last
Everyday I wake up I feel
a little bit stupider
My mind is the picture of Dorian Gray
not the man
P.S. Blue today. Maybe all this stress is catching up with me. Plus side I'm going to Boston
09/11/2024
11:57 PM
Lost track of time
now I've only got three minutes to rhyme
What's the matter with a porcupine
and how do they make their quills so fine
Whimsical words across my page
I wonder what it was like to have a pager
To only have a gentle nudge
of the digital age
Instead of the floodgate we
carry in our pockets
Polly Pocket had plastic pants
but no pockets
and was quite uncomfortable in your own
Big Pocket makes little pockets
but only for women
09/10/2024
Are those little people trapped in that box? (No, Caveman)
The two talking heads on the TV
can't seem to get along
They rather focus on the cheapest labour supply in America
than putting dollars into public works
They don't drive to work like us
& I don't need to look at a sheet of paper
to see how much my oak milk costs
Pick a side, pick a poison
for America's highest position
As long as I don't have to smite my brothers
with nukes or ammunition
P.S.
“Put the guns into our hands and we will use them. Give us the slogans and we will turn them into reality. Sing the battle hymns and we will take them up where you left off. Not one not ten not ten thousand not a million not ten millions not a hundred millions but a billion two billions of us all the people of the world we will have the slogans and we will have the hymns and we will have the guns and we will use them and we will live. Make no mistake of it we will live. We will be alive and we will walk and talk and eat and sing and laugh and feel and love and bear our children in tranquility and security in decency in peace. You plan the wars you masters of men plans the wars and point the way and we will point the gun.” - Dalton Trumbo
09/09/2024
The Steam Engine that Could
Every day I try to write
my Magnum Opus
and everyday I come everywhere
but close
Some days there's a twinkle of heaven
in my words
Others, recycled waste
that really should have been sorted
to the garbage
But still I ink these pages
Searching for my own salvation
Knowing damn well I can't
write my way to the
meaning of life
It makes me happy though
so
Everyday I try to write
09/08/2024
Singing To Myself
Nobody know where the wind blows
Or what lies beyond the bridges leading nowhere
Salvation? Frustration? A tiny ol' bus station
that can take you down to hell
so you can see how Napoleon dwells?
We do not know. Oh we do not care
I don't want minutia
I just want Minute Maid
A sugary elyxr
and an excellent cocktail mixer
So I don't have to feel
the troubles of the day
I jest. I'll just rest
I think I need a lay
P.S. Today was a good day despite the silliness that this poem descended into. I received a lot of interesting perception feedback today about myself. I went on a ride with my ex-Mormon pal whose last name sounds like Shamu if you squint your ears. He asked me if I enjoy humor and laughing. To that I said yes. He also asked if I thought I was funny. I replied that I think most people think I am. He then said that he is surprised that I don't laugh a lot. That's why he asked all those questions, because he noticed I don't laugh a lot. Food for thought. I later asked him where he viewed me on a scale from happy to sad. He initially said very happy then very sad. I must be a good actor. Later at the rock wall, I was talking to the partner of my climbing friend whose name is of Disney fame. She said that I was a very nice person. Which is interesting, cause I think I'm an asshole. I am always fascinated by how people perceive me. Seems like I am perceived alright. I don't think I am very sad by the way. Maybe a bit melancholy every now and then but I think I am doing good. At least that's the story I am telling myself.
09/07/2024
First Stepper
The first step of the day is oft forgotten
But it is the most important
Without a beginning
there can be no middle and surly no end
When you plant your feet on the ground
and feel the Earth support your stance
A bridge is formed connecting your most distal phalanges
to those spanning across melliaum,
each taking their first step
To move is to live
Take a moment to savor the fact you have feet
So you can start each day on the right foot
09/06/2024
The Stories we Tell Ourselves
You build mountains in your head
about false futures
They will fill your sockets
of black stained ivory with fantasy
Preventing your vision to fixate
on the now now
The beauty that already exists in your world
The blue sky, the whistling birds,
the broken pavement
with dandelions peaking through
Remove the gold tinted glasses and see
the gold around you
09/05/2024
Sympathy for Insects
The roach on the wall
didn't know its crime
To himself, he is just as pretty
as any other roach
But it isn't a roach's eyes that will decide
fate
No those eyes are blue and value
things like freedom and justice
The roach doesn't know of those ideals or
of the shoe being flung at him
Before he falls dead on the floor
P.S. Watched a Fist Full of Dollars. Apparently that movie came out before The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly and apparently the Dollars trilogy isn't even a narrative trilogy. Who knew. Regardless had a good time with my two friends. A shame one of them attacked the dear roach in my room. I am more of a catch and release kinda guy. Such is life.
09/04/2024
Creme de la Creme or Shit de la Shit
Here we are again,
forward in time and mind
I don't know where I am going
but I do know where I've been
I've walked. I've wandered
Many thoughts I've pondered
It is harder to say what I have gained
than what I have lost
The path before me extends
beyond my sight
as does the distance darkness
encompases when I turn around
There's only one way to go
Up the gradient